Tonight I come to you at the end of an exhausting day. I can promise that once I am finished with my blog, sleep will come to me with no problem tonight. I spent the day with my Grandma, Mom and Aunt at St. Mary’s Hospital. As it always tends to be the case, we were not gathered together for a joyous occasion. My Grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer last week. She was recommended for a mastechtomy as well as removal of any and all lymph nodes that are contributing to this terrible disease. Unfortunately, the surgery brought the family more questions that answers. The doctor could visibly see the lymph nodes he was removing, which means it is very likely the cancer has spread all over her body. Do what extent? That remains to be seen. More tests will be needed before the treatment options can be explored. In addition to worry and concern about my Grandmother’s fight with cancer, my mom and my aunt are searching for options for her after care from this surgery. You see, the last five years have thrown some pretty serious curve balls at my Grandma. She has been living in a state of denial for the last few years. So much so, she has stopped taking care of herself, her home- the very basic necessity’s of life. To be quite honest about the situation, she has known about the lump in her breast for a year, but didn’t feel it was necessary to mention it until it became too painful for her to go through normal everyday life with it. To be frank, she ignored her check engine light.
As Nichole Johnson put it, we all have check engine lights in our lives. And, just like our cars, when we ignore the warning signs in our lives, we too will eventually break down. I don’t come as my grandmother’s judge and jury tonight, I come to you as a woman who, too often, ignores her own check engine light. My symptoms often include exhaustion, anger, anxiety, fear and unfortunately the muffin top that does not allow my jeans to fasten correctly. If I let it go too long, my system over loads and I fall into some pretty basic symptoms of clinical depression. I lose my hope. I cease from being a proactive, key player in my life and morph into someone who just lets life happen to her. As I have cycled through this stage a couple of times, I have come to realize that I can only be as effective for God as my body will allow me to be. What kind of witness for Christ can I be when I am lounging in the bottom of the pit along with my pity party partners?
Here is my point. God created us to have life and life abundantly. If you are feeling ANYTHING but peace, you have a check engine light that is on. You have an issue in your life that needs to be addressed. Maybe you simply need a day away. Maybe you need to visit with your doctor for a physical. Maybe you need to sit at the foot of the cross and allow the glory of God to cover you with his precious love. We are too precious to run on fumes. We can only be as effective for God as our bodies allow us to be. Lets treat them as the Lord’s temple:
“For the Lord did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7